Can I be honest? I like having control. Yep, I said it. I like knowing the plan. I like when things go the way I expect. I’m even the backseat driver type when I’m riding in the passenger seat. I’m exposing myself here — but it’s true: I like having control.
Can I be even more honest? Because of this tendency, I often end up depleted. Why? Because with control comes self-reliance, and self-reliance is exhausting. I find myself weary in ways I don’t need to be.
When I first found out I was pregnant the day before Mother’s Day this year, I was thrilled. This was a season I had prayed and waited for, and naturally, I had a plan for how it would all go. But God quickly reminded me that control was never mine to hold.
At just 7 weeks, I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Suddenly, I could barely get out of bed. I was so sick that even water and ice wouldn’t stay down. The vomiting was constant, and the intensity lasted for 13 long weeks. My carefully crafted plan for pregnancy? Out the window.
And just when I thought I had adjusted, we learned of a few unexpected developments with the pregnancy and with our baby. Once again, I was faced with the reality that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the outcome.
Learning to Lean
In those moments, I had a choice: cling to my need for control and be consumed by anxiety, or lean fully on God’s strength. It wasn’t easy. I had to remind myself daily that my strength isn’t enough, and that God’s strength is sufficient for every moment.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
I began to pray more intentionally. I whispered short prayers throughout the day: “Lord, I need You. I can’t do this alone.” I let Scripture remind me of His faithfulness. And slowly, I discovered a peace that comes only from letting go and trusting God with what I cannot control.
Maybe you’re facing circumstances that feel out of your hands. Maybe life didn’t go according to your plan, and you feel weary, frustrated, or overwhelmed. I want to remind you that it’s okay to admit that you can’t do it all. God’s invitation is the same for you as it was for me:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28
You don’t have to carry the weight alone. You can lean on Him. He is ready to exchange your weakness for His strength, and His grace is enough, even when life doesn’t go as planned.
